Vacation
by BobbleHeadJesus
Summary: They wanted to go on vacation. They wanted to have fun. It seemed reasonable to let Sunako pick the destination. At least, it seemed that way at the time. Big mistake. SunakoKyohei, NoiTakenaga, plus a little surprise.
1. Chapter 1

Sunako pulled the wide-brimmed black hat lower on her head. She pushed her huge black sunglasses farther up her nose. If it had not been so hot, she'd have pulled a jacket around herself even tighter. Instead, she shoved her hands in her pockets, slouched her shoulders deeply, and shuffled toward the shadow of a nearby building.

"OY." She jumped with a start at the loud, irritated voice. "Where do you think you're going? That's not your damn house. Keep away from it."

"I bet they think she's a witch or an evil spirit," a softer voice murmured.

Sunako refused to look up at the voices. Instead, she crouched in the shade so that the minimal two PM shadow covered her.

"Only because she insisted on wearing entirely black. What kind of person goes to Mexico in the middle of summer and wears all black?" This voice was lower and smoother, disdain clearly written into it. Sunako spotted a corner with even more shade and scuttled into it.

"You know exactly what kind," a bored, weary voice answered. "Don't be ridiculous. Would you expect Sunako to wear anything other than what she always wears? I'm amazed we got her out of that wool winter coat she wore to the airport."

Kyohei stood to the left, arms crossed, sulkily. His reddish hair had gone limp in the hot sun, but unfortunately, did little to diminish his good looks. Takenaga stood a few feet from him, fanning himself lightly with an accordioned map. His perpetually jaded expression remained on his face, but a connoisseur (or so Noi called herself) could catch the intrigued spark in his eye, excited to be in such an alien place. Yuki stood slightly behind both of them, nervous eyes darting around the village they stood in, taking in every angle. His small earring was the only hint that he was so on edge, trembling almost imperceptibly. Ranmaru's face was tilted up to the sun, trying to show off his best angle in the harsh sunlight as well as soak up a few of the harmful UV rays that promised to give him a golden vacation glow.

"Always talking like I can't hear you," Sunako hissed at them. She bared her teeth at them and curled her fingers, sallow eyes peering up at them through dark glasses.

The four owners of the voices shivered and made whimpering noises.

"Scaaaaaryyyyyyy," they wailed all at once.

"What's scary?" a new voice asked. It came from behind the large tourist bus the five teens had just stepped off.

A Mexican man walked around and grinned at them. "_Hola_! Welcome to Calaveras. You must be the Nakahara group."

"That's us," Ranmaru agreed, bowing.

"Why is your friend hissing in the shade?" the man asked, tilting his head. "Is she retarded?"

"Uh…" All four boys tilted their head in deep thought.

"Yes," Kyohei volunteered.

"Shut up," Takenaga said, smacking him. "She just… likes the dark."

"Ah," the man said sympathetically. "An albino. HELLO MISS." His voices was suddenly loud, his words slow and metered. "I HOPE YOUR TRIP WAS GOOD, _SI_?"

Sunako stared at him. "Is this guy retarded?" she asked, turning to the boys.

The man let out a loud, jolly laugh. "No, I am not Retarded! I am Ricardo! I like your joke. Was your trip enjoyable?"

There was a brief pause as the group remembered the harrowing bus trip. Ranmaru had wept. Takenaga had found religion. Kyohei had experienced vivid hallucinations of his life. Yuki had needed to change his pants at one point. Sunako had sat serenely, smiling and shuffling a tarot deck absently.

"Yeah, it was great," Takenaga replied, less than enthusiastically. The boys all smiled a little too widely at the man, white teeth glittering in the sunlight. Sunako let out a small miserable moan and blood began to trickle from her nose.

"Ah yes. One of Calaveras' many charming features is the road by which it can only be accessed! Called El Camino de los Muertos by the natives! Legendary for its needlessly sharp turns on ridiculously narrow roads over perilously tall cliffs! Also, try the donut shop next to the hotel, they are delicious." Ricardo stuck his head inside the bus to speak to the driver, gasped and yanked his head back out of the bus and shook his head. "Another one bites the dust."

"Another one rides the bus, more like," Kyohei muttered. "Bus of death."

A window on the house suddenly opened and a small woman peered out. She looked at the handsome boys delightedly and grinned broadly, revealing a few missing teeth. "_Bueno_!" she greeted them with a wink. A low growling, hissing noise caught her attention and she looked down to see, almost inches from her, Sunako crouching and twitching.

"Briiight…. Creeeeatures…" she gurgled, running her fingers down her face. They caught in the nasal blood that had gathered on her lips and began to smear the red stuff all over her cheeks.

"Your friend," the woman called, looking back up at the boys. "She is retarded?"

"No, Josephina," Ricardo called back. "She is an albino!"

She made a sympathetic clucking noise and shook her had. "Sad!" She looked back down at Sunako. "RETARDED GIRL! I MAKE YOU TORTILLA SOUP! IT WILL FIX YOUR ALBEENO!"

"She's not deaf," Yuki mumbled, and Kyohei snickered.

Sunako stood up. "What is it with you people?" she snapped.

Ricardo and Josephina laughed so raucously that the boys had to hide smiles.

"Come, I will show you your hotel," Ricardo said, still chuckling, waving them toward the center of town. "Tonight, you eat in the hotel, and tomorrow I show you the town!"


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews. They are much appreciated, and I hope you all enjoy the next bit.

If I were to say anything about what will happen in this story, it would be to recommend some supplemental reading by Ray Bradbury called "The Next in Line." It's a short story on the horror side, and he is my personal hero. This story is very much an homage to him, so I guess this is also a way of saying "Don't sue me."

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Sunako sullenly walked behind the four boys and their tour guide. It was not easy for her to be in such a sunny and bright place with four of the brightest boys in all of Japan. Especially not when they were all wearing white. She hated how they acted as if they had arrived at Club Med, each wearing some dreadful white button down loose, thin shirt and low slung white Bermuda shorts. No sense of decency.

Then they had gone and hid all her proper hobo clothing and forced her to wear a sleeveless turtleneck and not-so-poorly-fitted jeans. They had told her she would literally melt, and not just in an "I'm around attractive people" way if she wore sleeves in Mexico.

Pah. She ALWAYS literally melted, whether it was a result of heat, sun, or cute boys (or girls. Apparently she was not picky). What did they know? Stupid brilliant monsters.

At least she could hide most of her face behind the loose, tall turtleneck. Yuki had told her she looked mysterious, right before she had dripped blood all over his first white shirt of the day.

All of the boys had gone through a First White Shirt of the Day. That's just how life was with Sunako: needlessly filled with washing machines and bleach.

Now that they were in Calaveras, Mexico, did that make them the brightest Japanese boys in all of Mexico? Sunako sniffed some blood back up into her nostrils, in an attempt to reabsorb it, and decided their location made little difference to their combined beauty. Her life was in mortal peril no matter what country they visited together.

"Keep up Sunako!" Yuki said over his shoulder, tripping over the cobblestones.

Sunako stared at the plaza they were in. If she weren't one hundred percent sure of the country they were in… she would have sworn they were somewhere in France. The plaza center was lined with blue and pink tiles… pink as… pink as… Sunako blushed and snorted more blood back up into her nose. There were brightly painted buildings around the plaza, and neatly trimmed topiaries that looked like hat boxes. Bougainvillea vines climbed over the fronts of several.

All in all, it was a charming scene. Sunako did not much care for it.

But this adorable quasi-Mexican theme was not why she had entered Calaveras. Far from it. Sunako had picked this quaint town over Tijuana or Mexico City, or Cancun, for once simple reason: _Las mommias_.

She smiled secretively as they walked, her sunglasses glinting wickedly in the glaring sun. Kyohei caught the glint out of the corner of his eye and turned on his heel to stare at her. The others paused and turned to look as well. Her secretive, malicious smile still on her face, she peered up over the rim of her sunglasses, regretting it immediately as she caught the full shine of his brilliance.

"What's that shit-eating grin for?" he demanded as she gurgled and began bleeding.

"Nu-nothing," she stammered, trying to wipe the expression off her face. Easier said than done. "Lovely Mexico." To show off her fondness of the country she walked to one of the hatbox plants and stroked its leaves slowly. "Lovely, lovely, lovely Mexico." She smiled widely at the boys, far too wide, and far too long. "Good, sweet, Mexico." She continued to stroke the topiary almost in a loving way, leaning her face in close while beaming joylessly at them, as if posing for a picture.

Kyohei stared at her faked smile in abject horror.

Yuki began to sob. "Why?" he whimpered. "Everywhere we go? Why???"

Ricardo leaned in to Takenaga. "Seriously, sir. She is retarded, _si_? It is alright to tell, we do not charge extra for the mentally disabled. It just between us men."

Takenaga shook his head slowly. "Sometimes I wonder," he replied. "It would explain so much."

Ranmaru cleared his throat. "Let's get into the hotel quickly now, alright?" He had noticed the people coming out of the buildings to stare and giggle at Sunako stroking the leaves and murmuring Spanish terms of endearment.

"I just love the Mexico," Sunako informed the people around her in a sugary voice as Kyohei grabbed her arm. He dragged her into the hotel behind the others, muttering obscenities under his breath.

She peered back at the bewildered locals and mouthed, "_LAS MOMMIAS_."

After dinner, as they sat in Sunako's hotel room playing cards and channel surfing, a knock came on the door. Sunako glared at Kyohei as he got to his feet and answered. She hoped he would trip on his way to the door. And then hit his head on the door handle and bleed to death on the carpet. When he put his hand on the doorknob unharmed, she cast his back another, fiercer glare, and went back to her deck of cards.

There was a long heavy sigh as he peered into the hallway. Stepping back, he rolled his eyes and held the door open.

"Sunako!" Noi squealed, stepping into the room. "What are these boys doing in your room?"

Sunako gave her the most pathetic look she possibly could: weary eyes, mouth in a facsimile of a pout, brows drawn together as if in pain. Perhaps Noi could rid her of the bright creatures. She pinched her arms fiercely in an attempt to draw tears.

"Noi?" Takenaga asked in surprise, sitting up straight and pulling self-consciously at his shirt. He began to smile, trying to hide his delight. "What are you doing here?"

"I have come to protect you from your admirers," she replied gallantly, saluting him, "be they Japanese, Mexican, or unaffiliated with any country at all. Or maybe some weird hybrid, like a Japican. Or a Mexese. Or a Samoan."

"Wow, that wasn't racist at all," Kyohei muttered, swinging the door shut.

"And I'M the retarded one," Sunako grumbled to herself. No one heard her except Kyohei, who hid a snort of laughter. They exchanged an extremely brief glance at the shared knowledge that Noi, while pretty and sweet, was not very bright.

"Come in and sit down," Ranmaru said slyly, removing himself from an easy-chair and offering it to her. "Perhaps you can convince Sunako to share a room with you."

Noi nervously beamed at Takenaga and took the chair. "But none of you answered my question," she reminded them. "What are all four of you boys doing in a lady's hotel room?"

"What lady?" Yuki asked, looking around the room in genuine confusion.

"There's no lady here," Sunako added darkly, drawing the strings on her black hoodie. She scowled inside the sweatshirt, irritated at the soreness of her arms from the pinching.

Takenaga was quick to defend his honor in front of Noi, however. "She would never come to the room Kyohei and I share, or Yuki and Ranmaru's. So this is forced socialization."

"Mostly to make sure she does not crawl out the windows and terrorize the villagers," Ranmaru agreed, sitting on the bed next to Takenaga and Yuki.

Kyohei threw himself back onto the floor and began flipping through the channels again. Takenaga and Noi glanced at each other, grinned lightly, blushed, and looked away.

Ranmaru looked again slyly at Noi, and then at Takenaga. And then at the small refrigerator that sat in the corner.

"Well," he said coolly, "since our dear Landlady is footing the bill, I say we make a good time of it." He got to his feet and yanked open the door of the mini-fridge. "Look at this! Beer, bourbon, and brandy. A veritable alphabet of booze!"

"They all start with the same letter," Sunako muttered, but went unheard as Kyohei howled in delight and began to arm wrestle an unwilling Yuki for the beer.

"I don't even like beeeer," Yuki whimpered.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Thank you again for your continued readership. I am doing my best to keep it funny and entertaining, but it's a struggle sometimes, because let's face it, sexy make-outs are way easier to write.

Please enjoy, and let me know if you don't so that I can begin the self-flagellation and rewrites.

_________________

Noi sipped at the white wine Takenaga had poured for her and casually sat down next to Sunako, who was busy drawing stick figures in gruesome poses. Sunako had refrained from the liquor, plotting a sober escape from the drunkards later on in the night.

Kyohei was bellowing at the tele-novella on the screen, Yuki was draped upside-down over the edge of the bed, and Ranmaru was describing in lurid detail his last intimate encounter with a married house-wife to a repulsed (yet fascinated) Takenaga.

"Sunakooooo," Noi said softly, batting her eyes.

Sunako snorted up blood as she took her eyes of the paper and pulled her sunglasses off the table and slid them on her nose.

"Ohhhh stop that," Noi groaned, reaching out and pulling the glasses off her face. "I need a favor, Sunako my darling-est."

"That's not a word," Sunako muttered.

"Mmm," Noi agreed gleefully. "Sunako, you are the light of my world. You are the rain that patters lightly on my roop-tof. Rooftop. You are the monkey who tries to steal tinfoil from the pots I leave in the jungle. You are… Wait, that didn't make any sense. You are…"

Sunako stared sullenly at her. "Beautiful creature. Get to the point."

"Sunako, we are friends, aren't we?" Noi asked her, looking deeply into Sunako's eyes and pouting. "Please call me Noi."

"Noi," Sunako repeated. "We are friends. Now get to the point. You are too drunk to be playing coy."

Noi giggled. "I didn't really come to Mexico to protect Takenaga. I came so that he and I could… could…" She suddenly stopped giggling and blushed deeply. Sunako watched her closely. "Well… so we could maybe be alone together. In his room. All night."

Noi looked truly embarrassed and blushed again.

"But he's sharing a room with Kyohei," Sunako said obtusely.

"Yes, I know," Noi said, giving Sunako a meaningful look. "Perhaps… If it's not too much trouble…"

"Yes it IS too much trouble," Sunako snapped suddenly. "I covered for you at the hot springs, but then at least, all I had to do was distract Kyohei so you could spend time with Takenaga! This is something else completely! We all need to sleep tonight! Jet-lag won't let me play ping-pong with Kyohei until five in the morning. What do you propose, he sleep in here?!"

Noi shrugged, "Basically."

Sunako gave her a stricken look. "But… but… but… there's only one bed! Noi, you're drunk. Let's talk about this some other time…"

"No," Noi insisted, pinning Sunako's arm to the table as she tried to stand. "Listen, Sunako. There's a bathtub. He's so drunk he won't know where he is. Tell him it's his room and just let him pass out in there. PLEASE. I'll buy you the new _Halloween_ Collector's Set on DVD."

Sunako glanced at Kyohei as he stumbled toward the television, arguing with the Spanish-speaking actors, face red and eyes half-glazed.

"Well… if it's just for the one night," she said reluctantly.

"Yeah," Noi echoed insincerely, almost guiltily. "Just the one…"

"Takeeeee," Ranmaru growled playfully, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. "So yer girl is here, eh?"

"Yeah, I guess," Takenaga replied bashfully, grinning back and rubbing his ice-filled tumbler with his thumbs.

"You and her," Ranmaru started, tilting his face forward and looking at Takenaga in a very private Just-Between-Us-Men sort of way (or at least, he would have had he not been so drunk. Instead it came off as a What-The-Hell-Is-That-On-Your-Nose look), "you two still haven't-"

"NO!" Takenaga cut him off, blushing brightly. "Have some di-di-di-di'nity. Di'n'ty. Di'nity. Dig. NITY. Ranm'ru!" He shook a finger at his friend, before realizing he was admonishing a lamp and turned forty-five degrees to his left. "Where'd y'go. For goo'ness sake. Noi's a laaaady. No' some prom date. Jeez."

Ranmaru put his hands up defensively. "Hey, bubs. No one's sayin' she is. I'm jus' sayin', you two shoul' DO IT."

"Do it," Takenaga echoed.

"Oh yeah! You guys to'ally should! Goo-d'idea, Taky-boy!" Ranmaru's face lit up, alcohol destroying the memory that he had been the one to suggest it. "'Member how I tol' you 'bout that girl I did behin' the bleachers a' school an' she wasn't wearin' pan'ies an' I bent her ov'r a chair an'... an' DID IT?" Takenaga blinked blankly at him. "Well you shoul' DID IT too."

"We SHOULD d'dit," Takenaga agreed fiercely.

"Tha's what I've b'n SAYING," Ranmaru said irritatedly, throwing his hands in the air. "Yeesh. Noi an' me hadda li'l talky talk 'bout it, an' she's talky talkin' to S'nako, an' now we're talky talkenin' an' soon you two l've birds are gonna… gonna…"

"Do it?" Takenaga offered.

"Yeeeeeeeeeeessssssss," Ranmaru agreed. "You guys to'ally should! Yer brill'nt!" He looked over at the bed. "Yuki. Yuki. Yuki. Yuki."

Yuki did not look up from his repose.

"Yuki."

Nothing.

"Yuki."

No response.

"Yuki."

More silence.

"Yuki." Ranmaru stopped and looked back at Takenaga. "Mus' not be him."

Yuki mumbled something unintelligible into the coverlet and drool slid down the fabric. Ranmaru heard it and bent down to his ear.

"YUKI," he yelled as loud as he could into it. "Le's go t'bed. C'mon." He grabbed Yuki's hand and pulled him off the bed, thumping his body loudly onto the floor. He began to drag Yuki to the door by his wrist, then pulled the door open and held it open with his foot while he heaved Yuki through, assuring the smaller boy rug burns on his stomach. "Ni' ev'r'one. Sleeeeep goooood!"

They could hear him burst into giggles in the hallway, the mildly disturbing sound of a body being dragged down to his room.

Noi dashed to her feet away from Sunako and grabbed Takenaga's hand. They both turned scarlet.

"Um, Takenaga, showmeyourroom," she mumbled.

He grinned stupidly and nodded. "I think it's through here," he said, pointing to the closet. He started to take a step forward.

"No, it's this way," Noi said, laughing and pulling him toward the door.

Noi waved to Sunako and beamed again before shutting the door behind them, leaving Kyohei and Sunako alone.

Kyohei was no longer hollering at the television, instead slumped against the end of the bed, eyes drooping as he blinked slo-o-o-o-owly.

Sunako glowered at him. She went into the bathroom, locking the door behind her as she commenced to get ready to go to bed. Could she sneak out if he was in her room? He would be in the bathroom, after all. But what if he heard something? Then again, he was so drunk he'd probably sleep through a fire. Should she murder him in his sleep since he was here and prone?

She snickered softly to herself. Kyohei was so drunk he would probably vomit at some point in the night. Easier than killing him would be to leave him alone and let him choke on his own barf.

Sunako's snickers turned into cackling as she opened the door and looked down at the drunk teen.

Kyohei's eyes fluttered open and he tried to look around the room.

"Tkkkgga," he mumbled.

"He's gone to your room already," Sunako said sweetly. "Wouldn't you like to join him?"

"Cnnngup," Kyohei slurred, leaning to his left, feet sliding weakly underneath him in an attempt to gain purchase on the carpeting.

"Suuuuure you can," Sunako replied, grabbing her sunglasses. She slipped them on and leaned over Kyohei, putting her arms under his and lifting him to his feet. "Now, Brilliant Creature, look as you stand! All by yourself! And open the door and walk out. Look, now you're walking by yourself to your bedroom. Here you go down the hallway…"

She began to drag him toward the bathroom, taking tiny steps backwards. His feet trailed on the floor behind them. His face was inches from hers, but she had on the protective sunglasses, so she remained unfazed.

"And here you are at your room door. Takenaga is in there with tempura shrimp for you and… other things that you like. Mmm shriiiimp. Lookit all that, juuuuust for you."

"Tmmpr," Kyohei sloshed, drool seeping out the side of his mouth.

"Yessss, and now you're opening your door and…" Sunako took a step into the bathroom.

"MMMkey!" Kyohei blurted, his hand going for his pocket. "Gagitke!" He spun so suddenly, so strongly that Sunako did not have time to let go.

"NO!" she shrieked as he lost his balance and began to topple over on top of her. She stumbled and landed hard on her elbow, causing her to cry out in pain, then again as Kyohei landed on her stomach and chest, knocking her head to the carpeting. The sunglasses flew from her face and skittered to a stop underneath the bed. "Get off!" she snapped.

"Whzzt," he mumbled, eyes drooping. He put his head down on her chest and closed his eyes. "Hol' still. Tryin'ta slep."

Sunako growled and tried to wrestle him off as his arms closed around her and held her tightly to himself. Despite her frantic struggling and kicking, Kyohei clung to her, drool escaping down his cheek slightly.

"Kyohei, get up!" she hissed. "The tempura shrimp is over _there_!" But Kyohei did not stir. "Free money if you get up now!" He did not move. "There's stuff over there that you like that you've never mentioned before ensuring that you are an almost completely flat one-dimensional character!"

Groaning, she flopped her head back on the ground. She looked down her chest at him furiously, then stopped cold. His soft hair fluttered gently in the breeze of the air conditioner, and his lips were slack and soft. His long, thick eyelashes brushed against his lower eyelids, and his cheeks were slightly flushed from the alcohol.

Blood began pouring from her nostrils and she quickly looked away, allowing herself to blush unhappily. He nuzzled his face between her breasts and she shrieked in indignation as the blood began gushing faster.

"Stupid beautiful monster," she whispered. "You'll pay for this. _Las Mommias_ will make sure of it."


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: I'm glad you guys are still enjoying the story, even if it did get fairly difficult to read with all the drunkards. Your continued dedication (or mild interest) in this wacky little story make my day, but I'll refrain from a Sally Field's moment and just say:

Thank you. I hope you all continue to enjoy.

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The next morning, Noi knocked gently on Sunako's door a few hours after the sun rose. There was no answer. She knocked again, harder, hoping to wake Sunako. Still no answer. She scowled at the door for a few moments.

Then she raised both fists and pounded wildly on the door.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo," a low moan came from in the room. Noi jumped and her eyes filled with frightened tears.

"Sunako?" she called meekly. "Kyohei?" Another moan came, and this time, Noi blushed shyly. "Goodness," she mumbled, "I didn't know…"

"Noooooooooooooooooooooiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii," the moan came again, and she whimpered.

"Sunako, is that you?" she cried and brought her hands up to her face in fear. "I'm going to open the door, Sunako." Quieter, to herself, she whispered, "Please don't be naked."

She slowly opened the unlocked door and peered in. She let out a shrill scream and slammed the door shut. Weeping, she ran down the hall, to where Takenaga was still in bed. When she ran in, he sheepishly pulled the sheets over his naked chest and smiled shyly until he noticed her sobbing.

"Noi?" he asked, starting to stand up, before he remembered he was wearing nothing beneath the sheets. "What's wrong?"

"Blood," she sobbed. "So much blood. My fault. All my fault. Never should have… have… have… WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Her voice dissolved into wails of grief and Takenaga fumbled for his boxers and pants.

"What blood?" he demanded. "Where? Where are Kyohei and Sunako? Where are Ranmaru and Yuki? Noi! Look at me!"

She merely pointed down the hallway to Room 13. Sunako's room.

It only took Takenaga a few seconds to shove his legs into his pants (even while holding the sheets strategically to hide himself from Noi's not-so-virgin-anymore eyes), yank a shirt over his head and bolt down the hallway, pounding on Ranmaru and Yuki's room.

Ranmaru answered the door coolly a moment later, leaning one arm on the doorframe and hanging forward in a dramatic pose. The silk robe he had brought from home hung from his bony frame, loosely tied around his waist and answering any questions regarding his opinions on underwear.

"Emergency," Takenaga said, looking Ranmaru in the eye and raising his hand to censor the other boy from himself. "Where's Yuki?"

Ranmaru jabbed one thumb over his shoulder, straightening up, disappointed that his sexy door answering was for Takenaga and not someone to repair his telephone. Or plumbing. Or read his meter. Or deliver milk. Or a pizza. Really, just someone who was lonely, bored, broke, or looking for a good time.

Yuki was splayed under the sheets of one of the two beds, and Takenaga squinted as he stared at the other boy. He could have sworn Yuki was completely naked under the sheets. The other bed in the room looked completely untouched except for something frilly and pink tossed on it that looked distinctly like a tiny dress.

He looked at Ranmaru, puzzled. The taller boy smiled sweetly and shrugged.

"He's tired," Ranmaru said, stepping into the hallway and shutting the door.

"Did you–" Takenaga started, trying to peer into the room as the door shut.

"What's the emergency?" Ranmaru interrupted him. "Or did you wake me up to tell me how great it is to not be a virgin?"

"You are a pig," Takenaga said disgustedly.

"She didn't put out?" Ranmaru demanded, almost enraged, stalking toward Takenaga's room.

"No, that's not what I meant!" Takenaga said crossly, leaping in front of him.

"Ohhh I see," Ranmaru said with a lecherous grin.

"Blooood so much blood," Noi wailed, and Ranmaru's face went slack.

"Oh that is sick," he said turning to Takenaga. "I'M a pig? There's no blood in my hotel room." He paused. "Well not that much anyway."

Takenaga stared at him in revulsion, unable to formulate an answer that did not involve physical violence or loud cussing. Noi staggered out of their bedroom and looked at the two boys, mascara running down her cheeks.

"Are they… (hic) Are they…" Noi sobbed, then stopped abruptly as Ranmaru smirked suggestively at her, leaning on the wall with one arm and posing so that his robe fell half open. She was staring at Ranmaru, and her boyfriend realized her gaze was hitting somewhere significantly below eye level.

"Will you stop posing for two minutes?" Takenaga asked irritatedly, stepping between them so Noi could blink and look away. He turned to Ranmaru. "Noi says there's blood all over Sunako's room."

"Oh shit on sushi," Ranmaru groaned, and quickly moved across the hall, Takenaga close on his heels.

He threw the door open, looked inside, and promptly turned around, ran back to his room and began vomiting in the sink. Takenaga lost his desire to make sure his friends in Room 13 were okay and stood in the hallway, uncertain of what to do.

The sound of puking woke Yuki up, who limped into the hallway a few seconds later, sheet bunched around his hips.

"Seriously?" Takenaga asked him in disbelief, giving him a look.

"What?" Yuki asked, looking around. "Seriously what?"

"Pink ruffles?" Takenaga reminded him, crossing his arms.

"What pink ruffles?" Yuki demanded, tilting his head and looking confused.

"The ones next to your dignity on the bed no one slept in last night," Takenaga peered past Yuki to make sure Ranmaru was still puking in the sink.

"What?" Yuki frowned, looking genuinely lost. "Did something happen last night? I don't remember anything after arm-wrestling… a coyote? For… beer?" He scratched his head.

Takenaga stared at him, then poked his head into the room the two other boys shared and said into the bathroom, "You are sicker than I thought."

Ranmaru wiped his mouth and began running the water, splashing it on his face.

"We're a long way from any ladies I am confident do not have syphilis," the handsome boy replied.

"Why is the other bed unmade? Did you sleep in the bathroom or something?" Yuki asked from the hallway. "And have you seen my pants?"

"I'm sorry, have you forgotten why I'm barfing into this sink?" Ranmaru demanding, straightening and bringing a hand to his stomach.

"Because you're dead inside?" Takenaga suggested.

"Go look," Ranmaru said, jutting his chin toward Sunako's room.

Takenaga moved across the hall, and Yuki, who continued to have no clue what was going on, followed him.

The door swung open when Takenaga gently nudged it with his hand.

Yuki's eyes rolled back in his head and he fell to the floor in a crumpled heap.

Takenaga gagged at the smell.

Ranmaru walked up behind him and handed him a small bottle of Vick's VapoRub.

"What is this?" Takenaga demanded.

"Beats the crap out of me," Ranmaru said with a shrug. "Rub it under your nose. I saw it in a movie. It seemed like the kind of thing we have to deal with." He made a point to not look into the room. They both wiped it under their noses.

"This feels like subliminal advertising for Vick's VapoRub and its many practical applications," Takenaga said suspiciously.

"I'm sure if any PR or advertising executives from Vick's VapoRub were interested in having their product mentioned again they could certainly contact the author with an offer for a substantial amount of money," Ranmaru agreed.

Takenaga stared at him and then they both turned and looked into the room.

The white carpeting was now a dark coppery red, and there were bloody handprints on the bedskirt. Despite the ridiculous comments about it, the smell was greatly diminished by the Vick's, and the neither boy felt the need to gag again as they looked at the mess.

"Kyohei?" Takenaga called fearfully.

A groan came from the other side of the bed, and a figure stood. It was covered in the blood, dried to brown in most places. It was Kyohei, identifiable only because his face was the one place untouched by the blood.

"What the fuck," he groaned, putting a hand to his head. "I get drunk and you guys let me pass out on the floor with only a scrawny pillow?" He looked at one hand. "And you dump paint on me?"

"That's not paint," Ranmaru said weakly.

"Why haven't you picked him up yet?" Takenaga demanded, pointing to Yuki.

"He's not my problem," Ranmaru replied with a shrug, then looked back at Kyohei. "Where's Sunako?"

"Huh? Why would I know?" Kyohei stretched out his neck and arms, stiff from the floor.

"This is her room," Takenaga said, elbowing Ranmaru sharply and pointing to Yuki, whose sheet had fallen off him, rather indecently.

"What the hell?" Kyohei said angrily, looking down at himself. "It smells fucking horrible in here. Where–?"

His face went pale as he looked at something beyond the bed. A low moan came from his mouth and he stumbled away from the bed, slipping in the blood and falling down. Anxiously he scrambled backwards toward the door on his ass.

A bloody hand raised from behind the bed.

"I."

It clawed at the bed.

"Am not."

Another hand joined it, bloody digits burying into the blankets.

"A pillow."

A lowered head covered in dark, stringy, matted hair raised over the edge of the mattress.

"And you will… all… pay." Sunako stood up for a moment before flopping down on the bed weakly.

"You slept on her?" Takenaga asked Kyohei in horror.

"Not on purpose!" Kyohei cried at him from where he was crouched, nearly trembling with fear.

Yuki began sobbing from the floor.

"We're all going to die," he wailed and buried his face in the sheets. "And I can't find my pants!"


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: Well, first off, I am tickled chartreuse that so many people read (and theoretically enjoyed). Thank you all.

Secondly, I just read up to chapter 80 (scanlation style) and got really mad because I think I unintentionally ripped off Tomoko Hayakawa. WHAT THE CRAP. Well I like what I wrote better because I don't think she even knows where Europe is on a map. At least I know that they don't wear turbans in Mexico (everyone knows that's Canada. Duh.). At any rate, because I have pulled a "boner" (as Batman and the Joker would say), I would like to officially state that**Perfect Girl Evolution**** (a.k.a. ****Wallflower****) is in no way my intellectual property. This plotline is homage to Ray Bradbury's "The Next in Line" (which I also do not own), not a rip off of a chapter from ****PGE****. Also, I make absolutely no money off this story. **I don't even get cyber-hugs. Or virtual high fives. _Or theoretical internet dollars_. Tragic.

Thirdly, Ranmaru does not even care if you are a girl or not. He will totally hit that if he is In The Mood. He is a sexaholic. It's what they do. Also, he fits into the Jumping the Gap theory.

Fourthly, this chapter is dedicated to the individual who came up with the Jumping the Gap explanation (and hand gesture). Moira, you will probably never read this, or Wallflower, but you rock my socks straight off of my body and into a secluded little convent in the southern part of France.

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Kyohei glared at Ranmaru as they sat in the hotel lobby. Noi and Yuki were sniffling and holding each other.

"So much blood," Noi sobbed.

"Who owns that pink dress?" Yuki whimpered.

Ranmaru slouched in his seat and looked up at the ceiling and began whistling casually.

"You're such a fuckin' pervert," Kyohei spat under his breath.

"You are simply jealous of my survivalist instincts," Ranmaru said, examining his nails. Kyohei clenched his fist and started to get to his feet.

It was fortunately at that moment that Takenaga walked down the stairs behind Sunako, whose face was completely blank, eyes dark and soulless. Noi and Yuki both shivered and whimpered.

"They're cleaning up the room right now," Takenaga told them all. "They moved Sunako to a different room."

They all watched Sunako carefully for a few moments.

"Sunako-chan?" Noi asked, reaching a hand out.

The girl had showered, put on clean black sundress, and seemed to be almost in a comatose state now. Noi's hand touched her wrist and suddenly she blinked.

Her head snapped to give a murderous stare at Kyohei.

"You… wiiiiill… paaaay…" she hissed lowly, and Ranmaru quickly stood and moved three chairs away from Kyohei. Takenaga took a large step away from Sunako and both Noi and Yuki dove under their chairs.

"What the hell?!" Kyohei snapped at them, looking a little desperate. "It's not my damn fault!"

"Dude, don't even look at me," Ranmaru said, scratching his head nervously and facing away from the loathing that slowly radiated off Sunako. "Bad karma by association is not something I need today."

Kyohei narrowed his eyes at the boy and then turned to Yuki.

"Hey, guess who Ranmaru did last night," he began with a casual grin. Takenaga spun a hand out and it connected with the center of Kyohei's forehead. "What the hell?!" Kyohei roared, grabbing his head with both hands.

"Were you just going to let him tell Yuki?" Takenaga demanded to Ranmaru, whose back was still to them.

"On a scale from 'one' to 'Death-by-Sunako', _that_ rates as a two," Ranmaru said simply.

"What?" Yuki asked, looking at them curiously. "Tell me what?"

"Bored now," Sunako said flatly, folding her arms across her chest. She pulled sunglasses from a large pocket on the dress and stuck them resolutely on her face. "_Las mommias_."

"Wait, no, I want to know what they're talking about," Yuki objected, getting to his feet.

"_LAS_. _MOMM_. _IAS_." Sunako enunciated each syllable slowly and loudly, as if Yuki were not only stupid, but deliberately trying to annoy her. She began to glide across the lobby toward the door.

She walked straight into an ottoman and stumbled over it, falling flat on her face, legs in the air. Ranmaru, who was closest, leaned forward and tentatively poked her.

"Why are you wearing your sunglasses inside?" he asked, picking up one pale wrist to check for a pulse. "There's barely any light in here." It was true. The lights were all out to keep the heat down, and something dark and looming was blocking the windows.

"Grngngngnnnn," Sunako moaned, yanking her hand away and writhing on the floor, fingers outspread and clawing at the tiles. "Beautiful… creatures…"

"Scaaaary," Yuki whimpered.

Gingerly, Ranmaru hauled her up by the wrist and set her on her feet before taking a cautious step back. She began limping for the door slowly, one shoulder raised, the other hanging low.

"Should we follow?" Kyohei asked, tilting his head uncomfortably.

"I… don't want to," Takenaga said slowly. "But I think she's heading to meet the tour guide. So…"

"It's either go with her or stay here all day with nothing to do," Ranmaru finished. All four boys looked to the dark windows, where girls and women of all ages were pressed against the glass, ogling them with open mouths.

"I don't really wanna stay here…" Yuki said.

Noi was already moving for the door, dragging Takenaga by the wrist, a firm and cranky expression on her face.

"Ahhh, it is the lady boys!" Ricardo cried, throwing his arms up in the air delightedly. "And they brought the retard! Wait… sorry, I forgot. The albino!"

"And me," Noi said with a shy smile, her hand fluttering at her throat.

"And you," Ricardo agreed with a nod. He turned to the boys to speak again.

"AND ME," Noi said louder, leaning in to make sure he had heard.

"AND YOU," Ricardo replied loudly, nodding emphatically.

Ranmaru cleared his throat and said, "This is our friend, Noi."

"I am not your friend," Noi said crossly. "I am his girlfriend." She pointed to Takenaga, who was looking the other way, face red.

"That is wonderful," Ricardo said with a nod. "It is good that you found someone as charming as him, especially considering how you look, yes?"

"What?!" Noi sputtered. "I… how… I… How dare you!"

"Ricardo," Sunako said, putting one hand on Ricardo's shoulder. He stopped and turned to look at her. Her black hair hung limply in front of her face, which was lowered toward the ground to hide it from the bright sunlight.

All five of her friends shivered at the sight of her.

"How can I help you Senorita?" Ricardo asked, turning to her brightly.

"_Las mommias_," she said darkly.

"Ah yes!" He grinned at her. "Calaveras is known for its truly perfectly preserved collection. Would you like to see it first?"

"Wait, wait, wait," Kyohei said, jumping in, holding a hand up. "What is a 'mommias'?"

"And why is it preserved?" Ranmaru pressed.

"Is that why we're here?" Takenaga asked Sunako sharply. "How did you know about this? Why didn't you tell us about it?"

"I don't get it…" Yuki said weakly.

"Just wait, you will see!" Ricardo announced excitedly.

Sunako just gave them a dark and wicked smile.

"Holy." Takenaga's eyes were huge and round.

"Fucking." Kyohei was pale and rigid.

"Shit." Ranmaru looked as if he would throw up.

Yuki just stood there and sobbed helplessly.

Noi had not even entered the room. As soon as she had seen the door in the floor of the church, she had stopped and refused to go any further. No one had pushed her to go down the stairs though, Takenaga briefly kissing her cheek before descending.

Sunako was beaming so brightly that the boys had to hold their hands up to shade their eyes. She was humming softly, sunglasses back in her pocket and swaying down the long subterranean hall.

"What is this?" Takenaga demanded in a horrified whisper. He turned in a circle, looking at the earthen walls, floor, arched ceiling, and stairwell. There was a large oil barrel next to the door that was labeled in stenciled spray-paint: "BARF BARREL."

"These are _las mommias_," Ricardo said proudly. "The mummies of Calaveras!"

Yuki wailed so loudly that Noi could hear him from the church and she cried out fearfully in response, hiding her eyes from whatever might pop up through the door.

"Oh my God, she brought us to see dead people," Ranmaru moaned, burying his hands in his hair. His eyes were caught by the nearest mummy, whose eyeless sockets were staring back at him. There was a jaunty rotting sombrero on his head, and the skin on his face had shrunk to give him a wide grin.

Kyohei was incapable of speech, eyes flicking back and forth in terror between the walls lined with the mummified remains of the ex-residents of Calaveras. He looked down to the end of the hall, where Sunako was leaning against the wall next to several of the mummies, arms folded over her chest, eyes closed.

"I want to go home," Yuki sobbed, and threw himself on Ranmaru, who caught him but did not move his eyes from the madly grinning mummy.

"Yuki, I took advantage of you last night," he whispered in horror. "The mummy it… compels me… to tell the truth…"

"What are you talking about?" Yuki wailed, wiping tears from his face.

"I… put you in a pink dress and told you you'd been such a bad girl and… Oh god, I can see its brains…" Ranmaru gagged and dropped Yuki to the floor, turning to empty the contents of his stomach into the barrel.

Yuki stopped crying and frowned thoughtfully, deep in concentration.

Kyohei took a step down the hall of corpses, eyes still jumping back and forth across the hall. His body was rigid and his steps were stiff, short, and his body twisted to walk sideways, as if trying to put as much room between himself and the mummies as possible.

"You see," Ricardo was telling Takenaga, who was blinking rapidly, "When our citizens die, their families can either purchase a grave for a large amount or rent one out yearly for a small, reasonable fee. Most people in Calaveras are very poor and cannot afford to buy a whole grave, so their families pay the rent. However, after the family member has been dead for many years, very often their family will simply decide to stop paying the rent, as the needs of the living outweigh the needs of the dead."

"So you dig them up," Takenaga whispered.

"So we dig them up!" Ricardo echoed brightly.

"And put their bodies in here…" Takenaga was holding his own hand so tightly the blood to his fingers was cut off.

"And put their bodies in here!" Ricardo gestured broadly to the tomb. "It is wonderful, no?"

"No," Ranmaru grunted from the barrel. He retched again.

"Would you please to meet my mother?" Ricardo said, gesturing to a woman whose clothes were so rotted off that she was virtually naked, but her skin had withered so much that it looked like a grotesque leather suit. In her arms was a tiny withered brown object. "Also my younger sister, Marianella!"

"Hello, Marianella! Hello Mrs. Ricardo's Mom!" Sunako called gleefully down the hall. Her voice echoed slightly off the walls, and Kyohei, who was still inching his way down the hallway toward her froze for a moment and shuddered, closing his eyes. Carefully he resumed his trek.

"Hello, Albino Girl!" Ricardo called in a high pitched voice out of the side of his mouth, grabbing his mother's arm to wiggle it in mimicry of a wave. "Hola, Senorita!" he squeaked, taking the baby's small hand. It snapped off in his fingers and he laughed embarrassedly. "Oh my goodness. How silly, no?" He chortled and quickly tried to stick the hand back on. When it did not go on, he stuffed it swiftly in the older corpse's mouth and stepped away.

Takenaga watched him sickened.

"Wait a second," Yuki said from the floor with a deep frown. "A pink dress?"

Down the hall, Kyohei was almost to where Sunako was simulating being a mummy against the wall.

"Promise me that when I die you will put me in here," Sunako called to them all. No one answered.

"Nakahara," Kyohei whispered, closing his eyes against the mummies. "Let's get the hell out of here."

"We just got here," Sunako said dismissively.

"It's time to go," he said urgently. "Right now. We need to leave."

"Can you hear them singing?" Sunako asked dreamily. "They are singing to me. Calling me. Fall down, comes the call. Fall up is the reply. Fall up, up, up, into nothingness, into oblivion, into the dark port that is my soul on a dismal grey rainy day that stretches out into…"

"Good lord, no Goth poetry," he moaned angrily, eyes still closed tightly. "Not right now. Not ever."

Sunako narrowed her eyes at him. She stood up and took a step toward him. Her nose began to bleed as she took him by the shoulders and pushed him back up against the wall.

"What…" Kyohei opened his eyes in surprise to look at her, then froze. Slowly his eyes moved to his left. A corpse was grinning an inch from his face. His face stiffened in terror. He looked to the right. Another corpse, whose mouth was opened wide in a silent scream, hands held up in front of its body, fingers arched into the air, ancient fingernails broken, as though it had tried to claw its way out of a coffin.

"No," he whispered. "No. No. No. No."

Sunako gave him a small, red, evil smile. She leaned to the left, picked up a corpse and rested it against Kyohei's chest.

"Look at that, beautiful creature," she said, turning to look down the hallway. She sniffed and the blood zipped back up her nose. "They are leaving. It is time to go. I'm quite hungry. I think I'll go with them."

Kyohei turned his eyes to the door. Ranmaru was leaning heavily between the two other boys, and Ricardo was waving his hands talking about where they would be eating lunch and what they would do after.

"I hope you have a lovely afternoon with your new friends," Sunako said, slipping her sunglasses on to look at Kyohei again with a dazzling smile.

She began to skip and sway down the hall, curtseying to corpses, bowing and waving to others.

"Come back," Kyohei whispered hoarsely, unable to move for the dead bodies around him, watching him, staring at him, touching him, rotting all over him.

At the stairwell she turned and waved to him, then trotted up the stairs. There was silence in the dimly lit room, and then, as the door creaked shut, the light disappeared completely.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note: When we last left our intrepid teenaged adventurers, they were trapped deep inside the haunted hotel, with only one box of Scooby Snax left between them, and Velma was theorizing that rather than the butler, it was the caretaker whodunit.

Wait, no. When we last saw them, our intrepid teenaged adventurers were being teenagers in whatever possible way they could (i.e. inappropriate touches, underage drinking, causing permanent psychological damage, losing their V cards, etc.).

I continue to thank everyone who reads, and everyone who reviews, and everyone who just sits there, reads the chapter and then makes a raspberry noise and says, "WHERE IS MY SEX SCENE, BITCH."

It is in your mom's pants, dude. Your mom's pants. Ponder that one for awhile.

PS: Thanks to everyone who's thought that and hasn't said it. I appreciate it.

____________________________

At the restaurant, where Ranmaru was curled against the wall of their booth, the six Japanese tourists and Mexican tour guide sat discussing the rest of the day.

Takenaga was admonishing Sakura for her choice of locale, Noi was holding his hand tightly, and Yuki was frowning deeply.

"What's that mean, 'bad girl'?" he asked Ranmaru, who closed his eyes wearily and ignored him.

Ricardo was ordering for them when he looked around and said, "Where is the other boy?"

"What other boy?" Takenaga asked, looking away from Sunako.

"The one with the anger management issues," Ricardo told him, looking around the restaurant.

"I haven't seen him since the church," Noi said.

"Last I saw he was…" Ranmaru had to stop and gag, then swallow roughly.

"He was going after you, wasn't he?" Yuki asked Sunako.

She was quiet for a moment as they all turned to look at her.

"He went off on his own," she said calmly. "To explore the Mexico."

"The Mexico," Ricardo chuckled, shaking his head. "She is a beautiful but wily mistress."

"Why do you keep saying that?" Takenaga muttered. "The Mexico. It's just Mexico!"

"I'm sure he'll meet us back at the hotel later," Ranmaru said abruptly and impatiently. "Do they sell anti-nausea medication in Mexico?"

Ricardo laughed heartily. "My effeminate friend, we will find you the best anti-nausea medication pesos can buy, yes?!" He nearly howled with laughter and echoed Ranmaru: "Do they sell anti-nausea medication in Mexico. HAH!"

There was a long moment of quiet as the waitress brought their food and they began to eat.

"YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME?!" Yuki shrieked, jumping to his feet and slamming his hands on the table, eyes locked in disbelief on Ranmaru.

The taller boy groaned in irritation and thumped his head against the wall once, a silent plea to make the horror of it all end. Everyone else politely looked away.

That night, Ranmaru, who Ricardo had supplied with prescription-less prescription medication (or perhaps it was prescription-less illegal drugs, no one was sure), was lying on Sunako's bed, head lolling upside down at the TV. His eyes were dilated and his mouth was slack but smiling lightly.

"Wow, this is beautiful," he slurred at the television.

It was an infomercial for Oxyclean.

"Can you hear that voice?" he asked his friends, who were playing cards. "It's so musical. It's like… music or something."

"Yup," Takenaga replied shortly. He put a card down in the center of the table.

Noi, who sat across from him immediately put down another card. Yuki glared at Ranmaru.

"Take. ADVANTAGE. Of me," he growled at the drugged boy, slapping a card down on the table.

"We should take advantage of this incredibly low price," Ranmaru replied matter-of-factly, nodding his head.

Sunako sat across from Yuki, sweatshirt hood pulled tightly around her face, not touching her cards (which had been laid out in front of her as a polite formality rather than an expectation for her to play). She glared at them.

"Shut up you… you… streetwalker!" Yuki yelled, standing up to point at Ranmaru.

"Sit down, Yuki," Takenaga said wearily, not looking up from his cards. Noi's foot was toying playfully with his under the table. He looked at her and smiled shyly. She blushed and beamed back happily.

Yuki sat down roughly and winced. He paused for a moment before a look of realization crossed his face, then turned to Ranmaru again, furious and shocked.

"Is that why my butt hurts?!" he cried.

Ranmaru snorted with laughter and pointed to the television. "Oh my god, did you guys see that stain? He _totally_ got it out! That was so funny, oh crap!" He laughed wildly and moved his hands to his stomach.

"Well," Noi said, letting out a loud, fake yawn, "guess it's time to hit the hay!"

"Is it?" Takenaga asked, lifting his wrist to look at his watch. "It's only…"

"Late," Noi cut him off. She gave him a shy smile and turned bright red. Sunako's eyes watched them from her sweatshirt cave.

"You're right, so late," Takenaga said, standing up as he recognized the look on Noi's face. "When do you think Kyohei will be back?" He looked at Sunako.

"Much later," she told them. "I will leave the door unlocked for him. I will put pillows in the bathtub. He will not bother me. You should go now."

"Wait, go to bed?" Yuki asked with a frown. "But… I mean… He's…" One of his hands waved in disdain at Ranmaru, who was rambling at the television, a loopy smile on his face.

"He's harmless tonight," Takenaga said quickly. "Just drag him down to your room and dump him on a bed. He doesn't even know where he is right now."

"Let's call out for sushi!" Ranmaru called to them, as if demonstrating how altered his perceptions were.

"We're in Mexico," Noi said, leaning toward him. "There's no sushi here."

"Oh my god, Juliette Lewis! I loved you in that movie where you were a retard," Ranmaru gasped, grabbing Noi's shoulder.

"Fuck you!" she snapped, and stormed out of the room in a huff.

"Byyyyyye," he called after her.

"You're an offensive prick, Ranmaru," Takenaga told him, then turned to the other boy. "Yuki, you'll deal with this?" He began edging for the door and gave Yuki a hopeful look. Yuki looked down the hall at Noi's receding figure and sighed.

"Yeah, I'll take care of him," he muttered. Takenaga bolted out the door.

Both Sunako and Yuki looked at Ranmaru, who was laughing insanely at the television.

"Are you really okay with Kyohei staying here?" Yuki asked her.

She smiled sinisterly, making Yuki cower for a moment, before saying, "He can't hurt me. I will be safe from him. Are you really okay with Ranmaru staying in your room?"

Bravely, Yuki lifted his chin. "He can't hurt me! I'm safe from him! No means no!"

Sunako gave him a puzzled look.

Yuki shrugged. "He can't even stand up, I'm not worried." He leaned forward and grabbed Ranmaru's wrist. "C'mon, Ran."

"Wait, wait, I wanna see this one," the boy objected, pointing to the screen. Yuki ignored him and began walking for the door so that Ranmaru thumped onto the floor jarringly.

Sunako watched as Ranmaru complained loudly at Yuki, who lugged him down the hallway. She closed her eyes and listened to the sound of his body being dragged across the floor. One of her favorite sound effects.

Yawning, she curled into a ball in bed and flipped to Spanish horror movie. Happily, she flipped the lights out and settled against her pillows.

Kyohei swore he could feel the fingers of the dead around him claw into his skin as he stood stiffly in the catacombs, too petrified to move, to speak, to imagine himself anywhere other than the pitch black.


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: I think one of my favorite parts of Perfect Girl Evolution is how, at random moments, all four boys will start weeping. I have never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever met a sixteen year-old boy would just start crying, especially if it did not involve physical pain.

I'm very fond of this particular segment, because I think I snorted milk out of my nose at least four times while rereading it. It's good that I entertain me, because that way I know at least one person that won't egg my house after reading this chapter. (HINT: IT IS ME.)

I hope you will enjoy this.

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This time, when Noi woke up, she kissed Takenaga's cheek repeatedly until he swatted at her as if she were a bug.

"Heeeey," she whined. "I'm just trying to wake you up!"

He smiled and opened his eyes. They grinned at each other.

"Wanna come wake everyone up with me?" she asked, sitting up. He watched her, pleased.

"Sure," he said, stretching out his long limbs. "Couldn't let you do it alone after yesterday."

They got out of bed, brushed their teeth, showered, possibly did some other things, the likes of which is none of anyone's business but their own, and got dressed. It didn't take long for them to get down to Sunako's room and knock on the door.

There was no response. Noi whimpered softly and Takenaga set his jaw and knocked firmly again.

Sunako opened the door after a beat, wearing a black tunic and shorts. She looked extremely annoyed.

"Where are my clothes?" she asked them darkly.

"We traded them ALL out for clothes you wouldn't melt in," he told her. "Not just the clothes on the top of the suitcase. Heat stroke is a real problem. You can't just ignore it."

"Where's Kyohei?" Noi asked, slipping past Sunako and peeking into the bathroom. "Did he come back last night?"

Sunako tilted her head and looked at Noi. She said nothing as they both looked at her. She raised her eyebrows, as if to ask them what they wanted. Takenaga gave her an annoyed look.

"Well did he?" he demanded.

"Oh," she said, acting as though it was just occurring he was addressing her and not someone else in the room. "No."

"I'm going to wake Ran and Yuki up," Takenaga told them, and crossed the hall to knock on the door.

It took a few seconds for Yuki to open the door, yawning widely and scratching at the back of his head. He was wearing the same robe Ranmaru had worn the previous day, only properly tied around his waist so that almost none of his skin was visible.

"What?" he said wearily, rubbing at his eyes.

"Ran!" Takenaga called around Yuki. "Get up!"

"He's uh… indisposed at the moment," Yuki said, stepping in front of Takenaga.

"Kyohei didn't come back to the hotel last night," Takenaga told him. "I think something happened to him."

Yuki nodded and quickly walked back into the room, letting the door swing shut. Takenaga put his foot in the door and peeked his head in.

Ranmaru was lying on his side in the pink frilly dress, barely covered by the blankets. His wrists were tied together behind his back, but he was still soundly asleep, drooling onto the pillow.

"Yuki!" Takenaga exclaimed. "What the hell?!"

"Ah! No! It's not what it looks like!" Yuki shrieked, diving back to the door to shove Takenaga out of the room.

Hearing the shrill voice, Ranmaru shifted and groaned softly on the bed. He squirmed lightly in the bonds and mumbled, "Oh God, again already? Let a guy get some sleep, Yuki."

Takenaga's jaw dropped open and he looked at Yuki in horror.

"Not what it looks like!" Yuki insisted again, still shoving the other boy out the door. "Seriously. Gotta go now. Take a shower. Be right out. Gimme a minute."

Takenaga stumbled into the hallway and Yuki slammed the door in his face. Staring at the door, Takenaga could hear Yuki yell behind it.

"You moron! Takenaga just saw you! GAH! Do you have to say every stupid little thing that crosses your mind?!"

Noi walked across the hall to stand next to Takenaga.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" she asked, nudging him gently.

He silently opened and shut his mouth, then pointed at the room.

"Oh my god," he said. "Oh my god."

"There is no god," Sunako said, moving to his other side. She was wearing the sunglasses again, and bumped into the wall. "Unless you are referring to the dark lord, Satan."

"Oh my god," he repeated. Sunako looked at where he was pointing.

"Did Yuki exact some revenge?" she asked.

"You… might say that," Takenaga said weakly.

From the other side of the door they could hear, "I'm gonna punish you so good."

Noi frowned. "What? What is he talking about?"

"Tiiiiime to go," Takenaga said, grabbing Noi by the shoulders and reaching for Sunako's wrist.

"No, I want to listen," Sunako said, twisting out of his grip. "I like punishment."

Takenaga stared at her in disgust then shook it off and left her to her own devices, shoving Noi down the hallway.

An hour later, when Yuki and Ranmaru finally emerged from their room, they found Sunako sitting on the floor and shuffling through a tarot deck.

"Uh… good morning," Yuki said nervously, looking down at her. She looked up, through her sunglasses and flipped over a card.

Without looking down to see it, she correctly identified: "Death."

"God it's creepy when you do that," Ranmaru muttered, not looking down.

"Going down for breakfast?" Yuki asked her, taking a small step away from the taller boy.

"I am," she said, getting to her feet.

"Did Kyohei turn up?" he asked as they walked for the elevator.

"He did not."

"I'm sorry, did you forget how to use contractions?" Ranmaru asked irritatedly.

She turned to him as they stepped into the elevator.

"Are you cranky because Yuki was punishing you?" she asked.

Ranmaru's face went scarlet, and he stared at her as Yuki quickly looked down at his feet.

"It sounded very painful, did he use thumb screws?" she asked eagerly. "Did he break any of your bones? Flog you? Use a metal tipped whip? Beat you with a club? Or maybe he did it so that he left no marks, only internal bleeding?"

The boys could say nothing as she looked back and forth between them.

"Did you like it?" she asked him, narrowing her eyes. It was hard to see it through the glasses, but her eyebrows met in the center of her face fiercely. Ranmaru looked queasy.

Yuki ignored them both, staring at his shoes until the door opened and he quickly stepped out into the lobby. He bolted toward the dining room.

"Do you think they'll have bacon?" she asked Ranmaru, not moving. "I hope so." They stared at each other. "I hope it was painful for you." She grinned and stepped out into the lobby.

The doors shut again, Ranmaru still tomato red and frozen with horror in the elevator, staring at her.

It wasn't until a fat American woman got on the elevator on the second floor a few minutes later that Ranmaru came back to his senses. He shuffled to one side to make room for her. The doors closed and he glanced at her.

She smiled politely and nodded.

"I didn't like it," he said quickly. "No matter what either of them say. I didn't like it."

Still smiling politely, she nodded again, but looked puzzled.

When they got to the first floor, she moved exceptionally quickly for a woman of her size for the front doors and left. Ranmaru, on the other hand, made his way to the dining room, spotted his housemates sitting at a table and joined them, taking a chair next to Takenaga – also conveniently at the other end of the table from Yuki.

Sunako leaned over the table to look at him. He tried to avoid her gaze.

"So did he dislocate your shoulder? Pull out some toenails? What kind of punishment are we talking here?"

"Sunako!" Takenaga snapped. His face was almost as red as Ranmaru's. "Not at the table! Have some decorum."

"I feel weird about this whole punishing thing," Noi said with a frown. "Friends shouldn't treat each other like that."

"Can we please just drop this?" Yuki mumbled, trying to not look up from his menu.

"No!" she declared, smacking the table with an open palm. "Torture is wrong!"

Takenaga groaned, putting one hand to rub at his sinuses before leaning toward her, one hand to her ear to whisper. Her jaw dropped open and she stared at Yuki. The boy sank lower in his seat under her gaze and lifted his menu up so that he was almost completely blocked from view.

"Ew, and you just sat up there and listened to them?!" she shrieked at Sunako.

The girl turned and gave her the chilliest look she could manage. Noi gulped and turned back to the middle of the table. Then she looked down at Ranmaru, who looked as though he was praying for the world to open up beneath him and swallow him whole.

There was a long moment of silence.

"Soooo, where's that Kyohei, huh?" Takenaga said weakly.

"Not here," Sunako volunteered.

There was another moment of silence. Everyone sat up and looked down at her. She looked thoughtfully at her menu for a few seconds and then back up. They were all still staring at her.

"What are you guys getting? I think I'm going with pancakes."

"Sunako," Takenaga said in a low voice, "do you know where Kyohei is?"

She seemed to consider it for a moment, tilting her head. Frowning, tapping her chin, and sighing pensively, she finally said, "You know, now that you mention it…"

Yuki put his menu down and frowned at her. Ranmaru went pale.

"Nope." She picked her menu back up and looked at it. "Oh wait, they have eggs Benedict. That sounds incredible."

"Oh my god, you are such a liar!" Yuki gasped, pointing at her. "You do know!"

"No I do not," she said quickly, bringing the menu closer to her face.

"Yes you do!" Ranmaru nearly yelled, jumping to his feet. "Did you kill him?! Did you bury his body somewhere?! Did you lock him up so he wouldn't bother you?! Did you –" He cut himself off.

"What?" Noi cried. "Did she what?!"

"You didn't," he said, face ashen as he sat back down. "You wouldn't."

"No, I would not," she said nervously, pulling the tarot cards from her pocket and shuffling anxiously.

"What what what?!" Noi squealed, her fingers gripping the table.

"I think we need to go back to the catacombs," Ranmaru said.

There was a moment of silence before Yuki began sobbing hysterically into his napkin.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: Well… I like that you guys are postulating theories on what's gonna happen. However, long ago, I used an inductive method of reasoning to guess at the circumstances it would take for Kyohei and Sunako to fall in love. Because let's be honest, some people need some pretty specific circumstances. I know I need a bottle of tequila, a hypnotic bass-line, and toe socks.

So here's some more. It may be awhile before I update again. I'm taking this class, you have heard of it, it's called STATISTICS and it's killing me. And not in a friendly sledgehammer to the head kind of way. No no, my friend. It's a Lucrezia Borgia kinda way, slowly poisoning me with _Extract of Math_ over an extremely long amount of time. How appropriate to PGE. Anyway, I will try to write, but I've got nothing in me to write with except some humors with which to wet my nib.

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And so the five Japanese tourists found themselves following Ricardo back to the small church, where Noi again waited at the top of the stairs. They trouped down into the mausoleum together, and Yuki began crying again at the bottom of the steps. As Takenaga dragged Sunako into the hallway by one ear, Ranmaru awkwardly put his hand on Yuki's shoulder comfortingly, determinedly staring at his feet.

"Ow ow ow," Sunako chanted crossly, stumbling over her feet. "I said I don't know where he is.

"Go on," Takenaga snapped, shoving her ahead. "Go find him. Where'd you leave him?"

Huffing, Sunako stomped down the hallway. It was dimly lit by the light at the end of the hall, and she had only a candle in hand. She held it up high over her head, admiring the way the flicker of the flame made the mummified bodies look alive and ravenous for human flesh.

She nearly tripped over him.

Bending down, she saw him curled up in a tiny ball in the center of the hallway, fingers digging into his shins, eyes closed tightly against the darkness.

"Kyohei?" she asked, nudging him with a toe. When he did not move, she repeated, louder, "KYOHEI." And then she kicked him roughly in the knee.

He winced and opened an eye tentatively. He said nothing, and she hunkered down next to him.

"They made me come back for you. I brought you some of my toast, would you like it?" she held out some nearly burnt toast half wrapped in a paper napkin. He stared at it. She leaned over her shoulder and hollered, "I DID IT. HE DOESN'T WANT IT."

She looked back down at him.

"Where am I?" he whispered, and began shivering.

"Uhm…" she looked thoughtful. She could tell him where he was and then watch as his mind exploded into a tiny frightened pieces. And then wait for the other three boys to murder her. Or she could lie and they could possibly go home. "The basement of the hotel."

"Can you hear them?" he whispered wildly. "They are telling me to fall down. And now fall up. They are singing into oblivion, into nothingness, into…"

"That's not how my poem went at all," she snapped at him. "If you can't even remember it right, don't say anything at all." She leaned in close to jab at his face with a finger in emphasis, but when he caught sight of her face, cried out and pulled back. "Stop that."

"It's too much," he moaned, covering his face. "No, go away."

"I can't go away, we need to leave," she said, grabbing his arm. "They're all waiting for us. And there are lunches we could be eating. Enchiladas, tamales, tacos, and churros. I don't want to miss lunch, because I hear that there is a siesta afterwards and no one ever lets me nap, so this is my big chance."

"You're too bright you idiot!" he snapped, hands still over his eyes.

Annoyed, she pulled her sunglasses off and forcibly slammed them onto his face. His hands fell down to his sides and she got up. He slowly stood and slunk behind her toward the stairwell cautiously.

When they got to the boys, Takenaga looked incredibly relieved. Yuki was still crying, but Ranmaru quickly dropped his hand and shuffled away from him. They all leapt toward Kyohei to make sure he was really and truly still alive.

He yelped and dashed back into the darkness of the tomb.

"What the hell, get back here!" Ranmaru yelled. "We came all the way down here for you!"

"I don't wanna come get you in there," Yuki wailed.

"What did you do to him?" Takenaga demanded of Sunako, who was rocking back and forth casually on her heels.

"Nuthin'," she said with a shrug. "I even gave him my sunglasses."

Ranmaru glared at her for a minute, then flashed her the sexiest smile he could manage. Which, all things considered, was pretty sexy.

Shrieking, Sunako covered her face with both arms and flew back into the shadows.

"STUPID. DUMB. CREATURE. OF THE LIGHT!" she howled, panting with the effort.

"Well, then get Kyohei back," Ranmaru retorted.

"I'm here," came Kyohei's uncharacteristically weak voice. "I'm okay. I'm right here."

Sunako, shading her eyes, blood dripping down her chin, stomped out of the shadows, grabbed Ricardo's candle, then stormed back down the mummy hallway. There was a shuffle of feet, the sound of a scuffle, Kyohei and Sunako hissing and smacking at each other, and then more footsteps.

A few seconds later, Sunako emerged, Kyohei stumbling behind her, one arm in her viselike grip. He was scowling, glasses firmly over his eyes. Her scowl was deeper though, as she was using her free arm to hold up the candle, and she squinting heavily. She shoved the candle back into Ricardo's hand.

Pleased, Takenaga reached into his pocket and handed her his sunglasses. She snatched them away and sulkily let get of Kyohei's arm to put them on.

He backed toward the shadows, and all three boys grabbed his arms to stop him from wandering back in.

"Stooooop," Yuki whined, tugging on him. "I wanna get out of here."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Ranmaru demanded.

Kyohei said nothing, just went completely rigid as they began to drag him up the stairs. Sunako and Ricardo followed them.

"It's so bright," Kyo whispered in terror. When he saw Noi, he made a small noise of displeasure and his nose began to bleed.

"How flattering," she beamed.

"No no no," he moaned, fighting to get away from the boys. Ricardo quickly shut the door to the catacombs and locked it. "I need to leave. It's too bright."

"I know, right?" Sunako exclaimed, throwing her hands up. "It's ridiculous! All this bright sunny prettiness! Why did I pick this stupid country? I hate the Mexico!"

"No!" Ricardo gasped. "Without the Mexico, we would not have _las mommias_!"

Sunako paused. "Hmm. _Las mommias_…" she mused dreamily. She and Ricardo both smiled and sighed happily in unison.

"Let me go, you morons!" Kyohei snapped, wrenching his arms out of their grips. "God dammit, I have to get out of this light before I melt." He swiped an arm across his face angrily, smearing the blood across his skin.

They all grabbed him again and carried him, kicking and screaming, back to the hotel. Sunako and Ricardo walked behind them, discussing the Mexico, _las mommias_, and _El Dio de Las Muertos_. Noi trailed behind them both, wondering why she was always left out of these things.

At the hotel, they brought Kyohei to the dining hall. His nose was bleeding so heavily Yuki had pulled off his own shirt to sop it up and press against his face. This had only exacerbated matters, however, as Kyohei's nosebleed got worse and Ranmaru's face turned a charming shade of crimson and let go of Kyohei's legs long enough to get kicked in the stomach.

"Dick," he grunted, turning away from them to grab at his stomach.

"Ass hat," Kyohei spat back. He wrenched his arms free from Takenaga and Yuki and darted beneath the table. Sunako sat in a chair, pleased with herself, and picked up the menu.

"_Molé_!" she declared and looked at the menu a moment longer. "And _horchata_."

"Get out from under there," Takenaga ordered, leaning over and looking under the table. Kyohei's knees were drawn up to his chest, and he was looking around the room nervously.

"Drop dead," he retorted.

"Would you please talk to him?" Takenaga asked Sunako after he straightened up. She sighed. "It's your fault he's gone all sociopath overnight," he pointed out.

Sunako dropped to her knees and crawled under the table.

"Hey."

"Hey," Kyohei mumbled.

"There's fried shrimp tacos on the menu," she said pointedly.

He shrugged, unimpressed. Surprised, she settled down into a sitting position and looked at him.

"You didn't eat my toast and you didn't eat all of yesterday," she said. "You eat more than all of the other brilliant creatures combined. Maybe you should have something."

"I'll eat it under here," he said into his knees.

"What's wrong with you?" she demanded crossly. "You can't eat under a table in a restaurant. You can't even do it at home!"

"What's it to you, woman?" he muttered, making an obvious attempt to not look up at her.

Since he was wearing sunglasses, Sunako lifted her own sunglasses off her face to give him a dark, dirty look. He glanced up at her, and his nose began to bleed heavily, and he let out a terrified noise.

"Stay back!" he gasped, crawling backwards, away from her. She watched him, surprised. "You radiant… thing! You… beautiful monster!"

"Where?" she gasped, looking around, behind her, hands on her sunglasses to protect herself. She frowned, confused, when she saw no one. "No, it's just me."

"Stay back," he moaned, and covered his head with his arms.

"Seriously, I want some tamales for lunch now," Sunako said, looking up at the table. "How long is this going to take?"

"You BROKE him," Yuki said accusingly, bending his face down to peer under the table.

"He's not broken!" Sunako argued. "I can fix it. Get me… some duct tape. And some cotton balls. No problem, he'll be good to go in an hour."

"He's not a kitchen sink," Takenaga said sourly, lifting the tablecloth and looking at them.

"Who would fix a sink with cotton balls?" she asked him scornfully. "It's your turn down here, I want tamales."

She began to get up, and Yuki and Takenaga both shoved her back down.

"You break it, you bought it," Takenaga told her firmly.

"That does not make any sense at all," she told him somberly.

"You eat when he eats." Ranmaru now stuck his head under the table.

Kyohei was making small horrified noises and rocking back and forth. They all looked at him. Sunako sighed.

"Fine, then we're having lunch in my room. With the curtains closed."


End file.
